The question on CollarMe.com (http://www.collarchat.com/m_1577289/tm.htm) was “How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?”. The disbelief embedded in this question is understandable, reasonable, and occasionally wrong.
I say “occasionally wrong” because to be a Master, one merely has to have the qualifications. This would be obvious, I think.
What are the qualifications?
1) Dominance: “My Master is 19 and I’m 22. Figure that one out. He has the personality for Dominance and I have the personality for submission.”
There is a saying “one cannot make a Dominant out of a vanilla.” This is usually in response to a woman wanting her boyfriend (or husband, even!) to Dominate her. she wants to submit to him, but he is not Dominant, and has no idea what she wants.
I have been Dominant since at least age six. I suspect Dominance is genetic in origin. (Thus “Born Owner”)
2) Life experience:
“Life experience” is those bad things which happen to you from which you learn new ways of coping. If you cannot cope with it, then it becomes “issues” or damage.
I had acquired more life experience by the time I was twenty than most men have had by age thirty. I have experienced much more since then.
The more life experience one has, the more stable one’s personality and emotional states. This, of course, makes for a better Master.
Some Men have stable personalities from day one! These Men can make good Owners or Masters earlier than can others.
3) Ethics:
Ethics is the source of One’s values. Such values as Honesty, Devotion, Loyalty, and so on are an absolute requirement for an Owner or a Master, IMO.
Certainly a Master Who lies to His slave, or Who does not truly consider her needs, or Who places His car ahead of her, is no real Master. The slave’s needs come before the Master’s wants!
4) Be in the moment:
a) I should not have to state this, but so many groups put it forth that it must need repeating: When engaging in SM activities—or driving a vehicle, using tools, etc.—You and Your slave/bottom must be drug free!
b) All Ms requires Protocol. With Protocol comes various rituals. (i.e. how she hands the glass of water to You, how she greets You coming in from work, etc.)
These rituals are important for Your slave. They remind her of Your Dominance. In response, she feels her place—and therefore her submission.
Feeling her submission is important to her, and it is an important part of the Owner’s interaction with her. her submission helps her serve Him better, helps her obey Him better, and gives her the feeling of rightness which is legitimately hers.
If You ignore a lapse in Protocol, or a fault in her ritual, or some slight misbehavior, then she gets the impression You do not care what she does. she feels You are not mindful her. she feels, then, that You do not care enough about her to pay attention to what she does for You.
slaves need Corrective Action from those Who Own them. Whether the Corrective Action is a frown or a whipping is irrelevant. Lack of Corrective Action on Your part is equated with Your having no interest in her. her conclusion is spot on. If You did care about her and what she does for You then You would notice when she does something incorrectly.
You need to reward her when she does well, too! Again, are You watching/paying attention to her?
5) Politeness:
Masters never yell, shout, bark orders, or any of that kind of thing. Falsemasters do many of these things. Their noise is impressive, all right. It lets you know they are falsies!
Masters say “please” and “thank you”. As I told My therapist some months back, “Masters rule because We are Dominant–NOT because We hit people!”.
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At this point I see I am committing one of My worst failings: Two subjects in one essay. I will try to fix this someday, but that day is way off.
In short: Yes, a twenty-one year old can be a Master, but only if He is a Man first!
Spanking: See also “http://www.spankingblog.com/2005/01/“.